Victoria Secret

Victoria Secret

By Andrea Basile

            “But mom! Seriously! Hannah took my bra and ripped it, I need a new one now!”

“Honey stop blaming your sister for everything!”

“Oh my gosh, really? You always take her side, I swear she ripped it!” I yelled.

“Okay,okay I’ll give you 45 dollars but that’s it, alright? No more saying your sister took everything you lost! I’m not driving you so here are the keys and be back by 3:00” she tossed me the car keys, which had a mini shoe attached to them for decoration.

“Its not my fault you never believe me, but thanks.” I walked out the yellow painted door and headed to the car. HAHA my mom fell for it again…well not really she knew Hannah didn’t take it but still, I got her to give me money! I seriously need a new bra, I mean 27 bras won’t cut it! And Victoria secret is perfect for the job. I thought to myself, while pulling out the drive way in my brand new Toyota. “Victoria Secret here I come!”

            20 minutes later I was at Victoria Secret searching for my dream bra. I went towards the back of the store and spotted an old man. He had a hunchback back, a bunch of wrinkles, overalls, and he was looking at red bras. I just ignored him and kept on looking for my bra.then I noticed the old man was now looking at the orange bras. I murmured “that’s it”. I walked over to the old man, and asked “U, sir? Why are you here?”

He turned around slowly and looked like I was asking him where his pants go.

“I am here to buy fruit…I’m out and I need some more.”

I kept myself from laughing “Ummm….I think you got the wrong place…”

“No, no, no I don’t think so, this is an apple you see” he lifted up a red bra. And rubbed it against his cheek, it’s a little soft, but it will still work.

“Uhhh no that’s actually a-“

“And this is a peach” he pulled out a orange bra and rubbed it all over his face “Ahhh I love the feel of fuzzy peaches”

That’s it, I couldn’t help it, I started cracking up.

Then suddenly he started walking towards the panties isle and picked up a large size of bright yellow underwear and held it up to his wrinkled face.

“Huh…so this is where the lemons are!” he sniffs them. “Well these don’t smell like lemons…” I guess he finally realized that I was laughing so he asked “why are you laughing?”

“Your-your”- I was gasping for breath-“you’re in Victoria Secret!” I bent over grabbing my stomach laughing so hard I could barley breath.

“No, no, no you’re wrong I’m in the super market!” he said matter-a-factly.

“No you’re not, that’s at the other side of town! I mean smell this place does it smell like a super market?” I asked.

“Well now that you say that….ohhhhh boy.” The man dropped the underwear and sprinted as fast as he could, which wasn’t very fast, out the door.